Our usual way of relating to the world goes something like this: ‘I’m here, and everything else is out there separate from me. The Wider Embraces method opens two more ways of relating: as a part to the whole, and as a whole to its parts.
When we rest in an Embrace or take it as our perspective and relate from there, we find an unconditional relation.
Relating Between, Beyond and Inwards
The Wider Embraces method opens a gate to relating to everything I’m a part of directly, in the present moment. Our knowledge about the Embrace and how we are connected works like bridges to enter into the relation. It wasn’t easy to rest in the Embrace of Humanity before we got connected through modern technology.
Below I’ll explain this in more detail and the terms we use to talk about these different relations. Then we move on into the qualities of conditional and unconditional relationships.
Interrelations – Me and Other
Interrelations are what we usually think of as relations. It’s me here and the rest of the world out there, separate from me.
The term interrelation comes from the Latin word inter meaning between, as in international.
Most of us relate to everything in this objective way, regardless of whether we are separate or we are actually a part of it. We tend to imagine our friends, family, organisations or country as an “it”, an external object separate from us. We also frequently relate to things like our feet or our gut bacteria as separate from ‘me’, the person who is relating.
We use symbols, representatives and abstractions to relate to both Embraces we belong to and the ones to which we don’t belong. I relate in the same way to Denmark and Sweden even though I am Swedish and not Danish; both are abstractions in my mind and I usually interrelate to them, treating them as an “it”. Our language and sense of self is set up to support this illusory separation.
The world is out there.
How we look at the Biosphere is the most significant example of this illusory separation. We call it nature and talk about it as something separate from us. We, the humans, are here, and nature is over there. When in fact we are part of the Biosphere.
Relating to a ‘You’ or a ‘We’
Our relations to a ‘You’ or to a ‘We’ are also often experienced as interrelations, although they have a more intimate quality, and they can act as a bridge to a transrelation.
Transrelations – Me to the Whole
Transrelations are our relations to our wider Embraces; Belonging to everything we are a part of.
The term transrelation comes from the Latin word trans meaning beyond, as in transcending.
The Wider Embraces method starts with a mental image, the interrelation, but then we become aware of the whole, the overarching Embrace, and we relate to it directly. So instead of a relation between me and my image of the country, there is a relation between me and the country as a whole. I truly experience being part, being embraced.
I become aware of the Embrace
I sense it, I rest in it
Introrelations – Me to My Parts
Introrelations are the relations Embraces have to their parts. Embracing all its parts, unconditionally.
The term introrelation comes from the Latin word intro meaning to the inside, as in introvert. This is the mirror relation of the transrelation.
This is where the Wider Embraces method takes it one step further. In the transrelation, I am still me, a human being, inside a wider Embrace. Moving into the introrelational, I take the perspective as the Embrace, shifting who is aware, shifting from the person to a larger me. From that perspective, I relate to all my parts, including the person taking the perspective. Me, the person, is one part among the others.
The most surprising insights and the most profound healing occurs in the introrelational, when I, as the whole, am embracing my parts.
I am my parts and they are me.
Separation is not possible.
Trans-Introrelations – Always Both Ways
If there is a transrelation, there is an introrelation. It’s one relation with two directions; from the parts to the whole and from the whole to its parts. We call this a trans-introrelation.
If you have been to a jazz club and listened to a group improvising, you’ve probably seen a trans-introrelation in action; music being played by the group, with individual flavours but not by separate musicians. The same if you have been training a martial art on a higher level; you and your partner moving as one.
Stillness – No Relation
Here and now.
So far we’ve been talking about relations with a direction; sideways, outwards or inwards. In the Stillness, you have no direction, only here and now — pure being.
In stillness, there is not even a relation to myself, so it doesn’t matter from what perspective I enter into Stillness. There is no difference between being still as this human being, or as the Embrace of the Universe. They are just as vast because there is nothing there to compare it with, no relationality.
Sometimes Stillness can be confused with one of the wider Embraces, especially the larger physical, because the timescale and size are so vast, they seem to be still. So the quality can be experienced as very much the same, but they differ when it comes to insights and alignment.
Stillness is a bridge, a place where everything coincides. Now.
Being nowhere and everywhere
Being no one and everyone
All Relations at Once
We always “relate” in all directions, including stillness. But we can only be aware of one at a time, due to perspective blindness, more about that later.
Conditional and Unconditional Relations
The experience of unconditional qualities is one of the most significant and healing aspects during a Wider Embraces session. To rest in the Embrace of the Biosphere, Humanity, or any other Embrace, and feel that I belong, unconditionally, is something I wish everyone on the planet would have access to.
It took a long time to figure out the source of the unconditional dimension. The key was to realise that unconditional is the norm, and conditional relations are rare exceptions. To relate conditionally, you need to be able to perceive the world, process the information, remember the past and imagine a future. Most things in the Universe don’t.
Irrefutable Relations – No Way to be Kicked Out
I can’t change what species I belong to or which galaxy I live in so for me the Embrace of Humanity and the Milky Way are unconditional in the sense that there is no way for me, as a single human being, to leave them. I will live and die inside them.
It’s one thing to know this intellectually, another to rest in the Embrace, and experience the unconditional belongingness first hand. Or to lean out and be the Embrace, holding all my parts, unconditionally, because they are me.
No Memory or Intention – No Past and Future
Because the Embraces lack processing capacity, they are always only now. Their memory is the present moment and the way their parts are right now. There is no thinking about the future nor intentions to change.
Intentionally Being in the Now – No Judgement
As a human being, I can move into the intellectual position of accepting everything as it is. Focusing on this present moment. It’s me being aware right now, letting go of my mental images.
I guess one reason some of us love to meet new people and travel, is because it propels us into the present with no preconceived images. This may also be why we love activities where all of us have to be present, like dancing, gaming or climbing.
Love and the Unconditional
At the beginning of the development of the Wider Embraces, we used the term “unconditional love”. But we found that the word “love” has too many connotations, so we skipped it. But the unconditional has a lot in common with what we call “love”.
I love to be loved because I’m special – Conditionally
I love to be loved whiteout being special – Unconditionally
Next part: Perspectives – See as the Embraces