To-do-lists, Judgement and Alignment

to-do-list

Yesterday was one of these days when I was not happy with myself. I had grand plans for what to accomplish during the day. But unfortunately, in the early afternoon, I refused to obey and started to watch TV instead. Blind to all to-do-lists.

In the evening I reflected on my day, and my life, and asked why it’s so hard to make myself do what I think I should do. The answer came almost immediately; I’m judging myself all the time, whatever I do, it’s not enough. I don’t measure up to what I expect of myself, I lose energy, I try to push myself for a while, and then I run away into some distraction.

This Sunday was no exception, and I know I’m not alone in this behaviour. This is how we live our modern lives, pushing and judging, planning for the future and condemning that we didn’t achieve everything. Reducing the present moment to a spot where we check off items from The List. Working hard so the future will be without guilt. But that will never happen, the list is filling itself up all the time. And the harder I judge me, the harder I judge others. Why should I not?

 

There is a side of me that exists only now, unconditionally. It’s the Embrace of me. I can lean out into that Embrace and hold this human being, with all her struggles and shortcomings. I rest in the Embrace of me, relaxing and getting nurtured.

The Embrace of me is holding the conditional me, unconditionally.
The Embrace of me being outside time, I’m acting inside time.
Together we are a complete team.

To let go of the Plans and the Judging feels like taking off an old winter coat.
It’s scary, and I’m afraid of becoming naked and vulnerable.
Who is going to steer me if the To-Do-List don’t?
Who is going to make me work if the Future doesn’t judge me?
How will Time move forward if I don’t fill it with meaningless escape?

It’s not about living in the now, not caring about tomorrow.
It’s about being informed by that which is outside time.
And by that which is inside time.
Aligning myself with all my wider Embraces.
Letting action arise in this human being.

 

I did check my to-do-list this morning, and one thing had to be done today, so I marked that one; calling my dad on his birthday. Then I started my day doing things when they arose. Being still now and then. And guess what, this was a very productive and happy day!

No fighting with myself.

2018-07-30 by Stina Deurell

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I’m a Physical, Biological and Cultural Being

Below are the first four parts of one of the roads we walk during a Wider Embraces session. We use the scientific map and become aware of its outer properties, its inner qualities and our deep belonging.

Please, read slowly and let the meaning of the words touch you. To get the full experience, you have to do it together with others, and with a guide who can feel the process and lead. Wider Embraces is in its essence a collective method. That is both a feature and a limitation.

I’m a physical body

I become aware that I’m a physical body.

I consist of energy and particles. Particles forming atoms. Atoms forming molecules. Molecules forming larger structures.

From this perspective; matter is what I am.

What is me today, has been a part of this planet since it formed 4,5 billion years ago. My atoms have been oceans, mountains and air. I am a part of planet Earth.

The particles that formes me here and now, are of precisely the same kind, as the particles at the other side of the Universe. I’m connected with everything, through sameness on a very basic level.

And we were all gathered together in a tiny spot at the beginning, at the big bang, more than 13 billion years ago.

I become aware of the Embrace of the Universe.
The Embrace that is holding me, and everything that exists.

I rest in that Embrace.
I belong here – Unconditionally

Nothing to do or think.
Meaningfree.

I’m a biological being

I become aware that I’m a biological being

I consist of cells. Cells forming organs. And my human cells together with bacteria and fungi form all the complex systems that are my body. I am a multi-species-organism.

I’m the result of an unbroken chain of life, stretching back to a single-cell organism that lived 3,5 billion years ago. Everything that is alive today on planet Earth are direct descendants from that one organism. We are all related; we are all cousins.

We are one huge family tree.
One life, breathing together.

I become aware of the Embrace of our planetary family tree. The Embrace that is holding all life on Earth.

I rest in that Embrace.
I belong here – Unconditionally.

Alive.
Roots.

I’m a cultural being, a relational being

I become aware that I’m a cultural being, a relational being.

I was born into a family, with its own ways of behaving. I was raised in a society with its unique culture. I learned how to act, talk, think, what to eat, what is good and what is bad, what to be ashamed of and what to be happy about.

How I behave today has roots back to the dawn of humanity, hundreds of thousands of years ago.

I relate to my environment, to humans and other animals, to plants, fungi and bacteria. And they relate to me and to each other. During billions of years, we have evolved together as a multi-species web of cultures; our global ecosystem.

Everything I do, or not do, changes all the cultures I’m part of a tiny bit.
We are all changing the culture moment to moment.
Relating or not.

I become aware of the Embrace of our planetary culture.
The Embrace that is holding all relations and ways of being on planet Earth.

I rest in that Embrace.
I belong here – Unconditionally

Ever-changing.
Fluid.

The Embrace of me

I become aware of the Embrace of me
The Embrace of this single human being.

The Embrace that is holding the physical, biological and cultural me.
Holding and integrating everything that is me.

Holding light and shadows
Holding past present and future.
Holding everything that is this human being.
Unconditionally.

And I’m held by all the wider Embraces I belong to: Physical, Biological and Cultural, all the way up and down.

– – –

From here we usually move out into the Embrace of the group and then further out into some of our wider Embraces, it can be our families, teams, countries, continents, the solar system, the galaxy …  And we make a shift in perspective and become aware as them. You have to experience it to get it.

Welcome to join!

2018-06-11 by Webbstina

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